NASCAR OFFSEASON DISORDER (NOD) 2016-2017

IT FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY THAT MATT DIBENINTENDO SCORED THAT GREAT FINISH AT BRISTOL OR WHEN DALE JR SPUN IN THE DAYTONA 500 AND THEN AGAIN AT TALLADEGA. VICTORY LANE AT MANY NASCAR TRACKS WILL BE COVERED WITH SNOW INSTEAD OF CONFETTI. AHHH, MEMORIES. WELL, THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE NOW -- MEMORIES. WE MUST BRACE FOR THE PLUNGE INTO THE DARK ABYSS WHERE THERE ARE NO NASCAR RACES. I'M GOING TO BE THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY THAT IT SUCKS. HARD. 

TONIGHT, WE WILL CROWN A SPRINT CUP CHAMPION FROM ONE OF FOUR CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDERS: JIMMIE JOHNSON, CARL EDWARDS, KYLE BUSCH, AND JOEY LAGANO. WE'LL CHEER AND WE'LL BOO. SOME OF YOU MIGHT EVEN CRY. WE'LL STILL BE ON THE CHAMPIONSHIP HIGH THE DAY AFTER HOMESTEAD, NOT REALIZING THAT WE MUST WAIT UNTIL FEBRUARY TO SEE NACARS. SOME OF US WILL WATCH THE CHAMPIONSHIP AWARDS AND CLING TO THE HOPE THAT IT IS A PRE-RACE SHOW WITH LESS HUMOR. AND THEN NOTHING UNTIL FEBRUARY. WE CALL THAT, "NOD."

NOD - THE DREADED ACRONYM AND EMPTY FEELING OF THE NASCAR OFFSEASON - IS HERE AGAIN. FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ARE NEW, NOD IS "NASCAR OFFSEASON DISORDER." IT IS THE VOID LEFT BY NOT HAVING ANY NASCAR RACES UNTIL DAYTONA. MOST NASCAR FANS HAVE NOD BUT THEY JUST DON'T REALIZE IT. BASICALLY, IF YOU TELL ONE OF YOUR RACING BUDDIES THAT YOU "MISS NASCAR", CONSIDER YOURSELF A NOD SUFFERER. 

NO MORE JEFF GLUCK'S "12 QUESTIONS" IN THE USA TODAY AND NO BOB POCKRASS "FLYOVER!" INSTAGRAM POSTS. NO MORE "THAT ANTHEM SUCKED" OR "NOT ANOTHER COMMERCIAL BREAK!" TWEETS. WE WON'T SEE THE ORANGE CONE'S "BLEW A TRANNY" TWEET FOR A WHILE, THANKFULLY. WE WON'T HEAR KEVIN HARVICK COMPLAIN ABOUT HIS PIT CREW OR WHAT LAP DANICA GOES DOWN A LAP. THAT'S ALL GONE UNTIL DAYTONA. YOU'RE GOING TO BE MAD AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE SAD. YOU'LL PROBABLY BE IN DENIAL AS WELL. 

NASCAR IS AN IMPORTANT PIECE OF OUR LIVES. WE JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT NASCAR NEEDS A BREAK. IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING (NASCAR), YOU MUST SET IT FREE (THE OFFSEASON). IF IT (NASCAR) COMES BACK (FROM THE OFFSEASON), IT WAS MEANT TO BE (BEING A FAN OF NASCAR). IF I CAN OFFER ONE PIECE OF ADVICE FOR THOSE PREPARING FOR NOD: THINK OF IT AS IF YOU ARE PREPARING FOR A BLIZZARD OR HURRICANE. STOCK UP ON THE ALCOHOL, FOOD, BATTERIES, TISSUES ('CAUSE THERE WILL BE A LOT OF CRYING), AND EMPTY BOTTLES TO PEE IN. ONCE THE STORM (THE OFFSEASON) PASSES, WE WILL ALL SEE TEH SUN (NASCAR) RISE. BUT THEN AGAIN, THERE MIGHT BE A RAIN DELAY.