ARF'S YEAR IN REVIEW

THIS WILL PROBABLY BE MORE THAN 140 CHARACTERS, SO HERE GOES NOTHING.

THE FIRST SIX MONTHS OF THE YEAR, I REALLY DIDN'T EXIST, EXCEPT FOR MY OTHER TWITTER. YES, I HAVE ANOTHER TWITTER THAT NO ONE, WELL MAYBE A COUPLE, KNOW ABOUT. IT WAS THE DARLINGTON RACE THAT I KIND OF GOT MY FIRST TASTE OF HOW COOL TWITTER COULD BE. DALE JR DID HIS "CAPTION THIS" THING, SO I SENT ONE. A COUPLE HOURS LATER, I CHECKED MY TWITTER. I THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD TO HAVE OVER 20 NOTIFICATIONS. SO AS I SCROLLED THROUGH THEM, I REALIZED MY CAPTION WAS PICKED TO WIN. I WON A DALE JR AUTOGRAPHED SHIRT (WHICH I STILL HAVE AND IT'S IN THE PACKAGE IT WAS SHIPPED IN. THE SHIRT FITS, BTW).

SOME TIME WENT BY BEFORE I WANTED TO CREATE A SEPARATE, OBNOXIOUS, RACING-THEMED TWITTER ACCOUNT. AFTER SOME BRAINSTORMING, I ENDED UP WITH ANNOYING RACE FAN. IT WAS AVAILABLE, I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. I CREATED IT ON MAY 31ST. THE FIRST COUPLE WEEKS WERE ROUGH. IT'S LIKE I WAS TALKING TO MYSELF. THEN, ONE NIGHT IN EARLY JUNE, I ENDED UP TALKING TO NASCAR WONKA. WE WERE BOTH WATCHING THE GODFATHER. HIS INTEREST IN THE MOVIE PARALLELED MINE. I'M SURE HE THOUGHT, "HUH, THIS ANNOYING RACE FAN GUY IS PRETTY AWESOME. I SHOULD FOLLOW HIM."

NOT LONG AFTER WONKA AND I BONDED OVER THE CORLEONE FAMILY, I GOT FOLLOWED BY CASM, CONE, AND MINI. I SAID TO MYSELF, "SELF, IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?" TO GET A VOTE OF CONFIDENCE FROM NASCARCASM WAS AWESOME. TO GET A SHOUTOUT FROM CONE WAS COOL. TO HAVE THE MINI CHAD SAY, "WELCOME TO TEAM MINI CHAD" WAS NEATO.

AFTER A MONTH OR SO, I HAD ABOUT 200 FOLLOWERS. THAT EXCEEDED MY EXPECTATIONS. EACH WEEK, I PICKED UP ABOUT 100 NEW FOLLOWERS. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT. TO QUOTE TREVOR BAYNE, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" IT'S HOW I FELT, YOU GUYS.

I AM ENDING THE YEAR (SEVEN MONTHS) WITH JUST OVER 2,500 FOLLOWERS. NOT A BAD WAY TO START THIS THING OUT. ALMOST 17,000 TWEETS, TOO. THAT'S A LOT. SOMETHING I'M NOT VERY PROUD OF. THE LOWLIGHT OF MY TWITTER EXISTENCE WAS WHEN I ASKED (FOR A FRIEND) IF SHE WAS MARRIED. IT DIDN'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN. SHE PUT ME TO SHAME. I'M GLAD IT HAPPENED EARLY ON AND NOT MORE RECENT. MY HIGHLIGHTS ARE PROBABLY THE TOP FIVE AND THE CHIPOTLE BURRITO I HAD YESTERDAY.

I HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT RACES I WANT TO GO TO IN 2015. ELDORA IS CONFIRMED. MICHIGAN IS 87% CERTAIN, THOUGH I JUST HAVE TO BUY A TICKET. IF ANYONE WANTS TO GIVE ME A FREE TICKET AND ROOM & BOARD FOR A RACE, I'LL BE GAME.

GETTING TO KNOW YOU GUYS HAS PROBABLY BEEN MY BIGGEST HIGHLIGHT. EVEN THOUGH I'M SLIGHTLY ANNOYING AND TYPE IN ALL CAPS, YOU GUYS SEEM TO STICK AROUND. THAT'S PRETTY COOL. SOME OF YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN OTHERS, BUT HOPEFULLY I GET TO MEET ALL OF YOU ONE DAY. I CAN'T THANK YINZ (Y'ALL) ENOUGH.

2014 ARFY TWITTER AWARDS

LIVE FROM THE WALDARF ARFSTORIA, IT'S THE 2014 ARFY TWITTER AWARDS

ARFY ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: ANNOYING RACE FAN (LOTS OF PEOPLE TOLD ME THIS, SO I GAVE IT TO MYSELF)

THE "THEIR STUFF IS ALWAYS FUNNY" AWARD: CITIZEN KBA

TWITTER NASCAR JOURNALIST OF THE YEAR: JEFF GLUCK (NOT JEFF GLUCK 2, THE NON-NASCAR ACCOUNT)

BEST REDUNDANT JOKE: THE ORANGE CONE FOR HIS TRANNY/TRANSMISSION JOKE

BEST COMMERCIAL DURING NASCAR RACES: THE KID ROCK/CHEVROLET "BOOOOORN FREEEEE" COMMERCIAL

BEST USE OF PHOTOSHOP FOR NASCAR STUFF: NASCARCASM (NASCARCASM ALSO WINS THE AWARD FOR MAKING THE MOST PEOPLE USE THE CRYING LAUGHING EMOJI AND THE AWARD FOR BEST USE OF A CARDBOARD FACE)

THE ARFY HUMANITARIAN AWARD: THE GREEN FLAG

THE "THAT TWEET CAME OUT OF NOWHERE BUT IT WAS HILARIOUS" AWARD: NASCAR WONKA (NASCAR WONKA ALSO WINS THE AWARD FOR DIRECTOR OF INSPECTIONS)

TWEET OF THE YEAR: THE MINI CHAD FOR HIS TMZ SPORTS/NASCAR SUSPENSIONS TWEET (THAT ONE STILL GETS ME)

THE "WTF, REALLY?" AWARD: THE FENCE CLIMBER GUY AT RICHMOND (HONORABLE MENTION GOES TO THE SQUIRREL/CAT AT ATLANTA)

THE NASCAR OFFSEASON DISORDER (NOD) AWARENESS AWARD: MY TWITTER FOLLOWERS FOR HELPING SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT NOD

THE "HE REALLY GOT THOSE HASHTAGS TRENDING DURING THE WEEK" AWARD: THE ORANGE CONE

THE "BEST FOOD" AWARD: DEVILED EGGS/PUMPKIN PIE (TIE)

THE "BEST ACCOUNT NAMED NASCAR MEMES" AWARD: NASCAR MEMES

THE "BEST PARODY ACCOUNT OF A DRIVER'S TEMPER" AWARD: KURT'S TEMPER

FIGHT OF THE YEAR: THE NOVEMBER TEXAS RACE

RACE OF THE YEAR: HOMESTEAD-MIAMI

BEST EMPIRE: P MENARD EMPIRE

THE "THAT WAS A PRETTY COOL MOMENT" AWARD: AJ ALLMENDINGER WINNING AT WATKINS GLEN/DALE JR WINNING AT MARTINSVILLE (TIE)

THE "IF YOU ARGUE WITH HIM, YOU'LL LOSE" AWARD: THE ORANGE CONE

THE "GRAPE TIC TACS ARE GOOD" AWARD: JON WOOD

BEST HAIR: ANNOYING RACE FAN (HONORABLE MENTION GOES TO RYAN EVERSLEY AND LANDON CASSILL)


AND THE AWARD FOR BEST TWITTERER IS...